It’s unusual timing but in just five short weeks my daughter will be presenting her final project to graduate from college. It feels like we dropped her off for her first semester just yesterday and I couldn’t be prouder of the woman she’s become in the process of pursuing her education. I’m moved beyond words at the opportunities her college has provided her, and, I think, might continue to provide her beyond graduation. Without question, this was the right school for her and the right environment to nurture her potential and encourage her growth.
Now that I’m older, transitions make me uncomfortable and I go through them thinking to myself “change is good, change is good” in an attempt to calm myself. But I can remember being fresh out of college and eager for change, ready to take risks, and launch into the world. I see that excitement in the faces of my clients who are ready to start or end college, just as I see it in my daughter. This is the age of fearless exploration and boundless self-confidence. This is the age where the brain is still like a thirsty sponge, capable of learning multiple things quickly, but with the depth of maturity to be able to learn them deeply, to analyze data from various perspectives and then come to one’s own conclusion, and with incredible creativity. In case you’ve forgotten, people this age also have incredible amounts of energy, which is good because they are doing a lot of things!
My daughter’s graduation feels to me like another level of letting go. Launching into the relative containment of college feels and is very different from launching into the big, wide world. She could go anywhere and do anything, she’s about to cut the purse strings and really be her own person – well, she always was but, like I said, this feels different.
At this age, our kids aren’t kids anymore. They are becoming the captains of their ships and, if we’re lucky, have everything they need to determine their direction and follow their dreams. And yet in so many ways they still need to develop and grow, all at the same time. It’s so exciting for them and it’s breathtaking to watch.
So how do we parents go through this transition in a gracious and generous way? I’ve come up with a few ideas.
I’m sure I’m going to make mistakes in this phase of parenting, just like I did in all the others. But I’m on a learning curve. I’m open to direction from my kids and I’m fairly certain if I cross a line, they will let me know. I have five weeks, and most of the rest of you have at least until May. I’ll keep you posted!